Friday, June 24, 2011

June Brides

Ah June...when summer gets fully underway and we're subjected to the traditional month for marriages.  What is it with people who want to get married in high summer?  Especially when they know the weather will be hot, humid, the various venues will be charging even more outrageous fees for chicken-a-la-king with a fancier name.  Be bold people!  Choose some other month (you have 11) and be a trailblazer!

I can't tell you how many times I've had to stand in a church with little or no air conditioning surrounded by overdressed people whose myriad of perfumes were competing with flowers, incense, etc. going "...I swear, if this goes on for more than 5 more minutes, I'm going to throw up"  Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled for the people who have decided to publicly affirm their commitment to one another - always more interesting if they've been together for a while and their children are included in the ceremony - but jeez, don't go following the herds and HAVE to get married in June.  For the record, don't do it in either July or August either as they're worse.

I've seen and have been part of some lovely weddings that broke with tradition and went for something fun and unique.  There was the legendary surprise wedding in the middle of his Lordship and Miss Sharon (a very early entry on this blog) annual holiday debauch.  There was a very sweet wedding in the woods where everyone hiked a few miles - led by the grooms Grandma who could probably have hiked up Mt. Everest without breaking a sweat - to this glen where the happy couple got married in a sunfilled glen and all of the guests carried in the reception supplies - yeah, lots of granola - with them in backpacks that were handed out for the occaision.  I've also been to beach weddings, nuptials at the top of a ski slope - the logistics of getting everyone up there and keeping them from taking a quick run were a challenge and an interesting nudist wedding that I'll leave to your imaginations you perverts.

Another thing that always astounds me is the effort and cost that goes into wedding dresses.  I remember when the Fabulous Francine was going to jump the broom with her beloved and I swear she tried on like 200 dresses before she finally listened to the wise advice of her soon to be Mother-In-Law and kept it simple which resulted in a knockout gown.  Then, there was the infamous Schneiderman wedding when the bride came down the aisle in a baby doll dress, being escorted by her Dad and her Mom's current boyfriend du moment and it became obvious why the wedding was rushed.  Trust me, the snickering was quite audible during the entrance.  Then, there's this dress...

wonder if it's something that get's flashed now and then to let the groom know what's under there?

The all time "WTF" moment in weddings was the recent one of a 31 year old Republican tool who's the grandson of Richard Nixon to an 18 year old very wealthy Greek-American princess who looks like a bimbo which was just pilloried in the press.  Here's a link to the write up in the New York Times where the writer was trying to be nice but you could tell there'd been a lot of editing...

Oh well, June's just about over and I've managed to escape this year so far unscathed with invites so my advice to the recently engaged is be different, keep it simple and for God's sake don't let a gynecologist design your dress..

1 comment:

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